Five free tips from Sound Feelings help release anger to improve emotional and physical health. Our free information reveals self-help techniques and solutions for anger-management, anger-control, coping with anger, anger resolution, expressing anger and conflict resolution. This self-study guide helps dealing with anger issues and uncontrollable rage by using catharsis, emotional expression, forgiveness and releasing the cellular memory. These tools complement other therapies, strategies and remedies geared towards domestic violence prevention. See also: handling anger, controlling anger, controlling rage, forgiveness, angry, releasing anger, intermittent explosive disorder.1 Give Yourself Permission to Express Anger.
- Our society does not allow us to express strong emotions. We are taught to hold in our emotions from the earliest age. This can have a profoundly negative effect on our overall health. It’s not wrong to express anger, fear, sadness, rage. In fact, it is healthy to release these emotions regularly. What’s wrong is when we hurt someone in the process. It is preferable to find safe ways to dump the negative feelings.
- Mental therapy alone may be extremely helpful for anger release, but it can only take you so far. Similarly, the physical act of doing exercise can help many people let off steam, but it may not remove deep-seated anger.
The most effective process is when you can combine both the mental and physical effort. This is when you do a particular physical activity along with the mental intention of releasing the anger. Please see the next step for specific examples of how to combine the mental and physical effort to help release your anger. In each example, don’t just pound pillows, or rip paper, but REALLY FEEL the heavy anger emotion with it’s full intensity WHILE you do the physical activity. This is so important and will assist you to finally RELEASE the anger energy so that it won’t come back. You may have to do the process repeatedly because it releases layer by layer and it is doubtful that you will get to all of it in one session. There are many studies recently showing that doing this type of activity could possibly MAKE someone more aggressive. This is a complicated issue. Let’s say that the type of people who hold in their anger their whole life NEED to learn to become more aggressive in order to become balanced. It is important to learn how to not be a doormat and have people walk all over you. It is important to speak up for what you believe and not take garbage from everyone. So, indeed, if this behavior makes a person RELATIVELY more aggressive, it is in the vein of becoming whole, and that is a good thing! However, please realize if you are already an explosive person who throws temper tantrums and becomes violent, then this approach is NOT appropriate! This recommendation is more appropriate for the “quiet anger” that a person keeps inside for many years. This is the anger that causes physical illnesses, sleep disturbances and other stress-related conditions. Getting the anger out in these cases is extremely therapeutic.
- Give yourself the opportunity to express anger in a safe way, without hurting anyone else. Most people will benefit by having a private room to pound pillows with their fists or legs, or with a plastic bat. Some people may prefer ripping pages of paper, screaming, throwing plates (old ones). Many people find it helpful to use anger-release music as a stimulus or catalyst for this process. Remember, NEVER hurt yourself in the process and never aim your anger literally at another person. What is important here is your expression of the negative emotion, NOT who receives it. If the anger (or other emotion) is traced to a specific individual, some people have found it helpful to have a symbol of this person at which they can direct the anger. This could be an enlarged photocopy of a photo on a piece of paper which you then scribble-over, tear, burn, or otherwise destroy. Be open to discovering your own dynamic anger-release method.
- It is also important to suggest that if you feel the need to express yourself in any of these ways, that you either are totally alone so that you don’t feel inhibited, or that you are in the surroundings of a group of people who are supportive of this type of activity. If you don’t have a private room in your house, maybe you can find a secluded area, where no one will hear or see you — even the inside of your car may work. (Don’t do any of this while actually driving!)
- The final step in maintaining anger-release is to truly forgive the person who wronged you as well as to truly forgive yourself.
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